I’m sitting in a parking lot as I write this, looking to where the stars should be. I haven’t written in a month, but honestly, I didn’t feel I could. I’ve felt confused. Still do. But also I’ve danced with hopelessness.
She sneaks up on me in my moments of calm and glory. Her brothers pride and self loathing get me drunk on myself and then she takes me away for a while. I feel cursed to have more talent than ambition. Or maybe more talent than skill.
I feel that I can do anything, but am plagued by lack of desire. I know it stems from lack of confidence, which is changing but is slow as change tends to be. My untapped potential calls to me from the future. It’s like a dream I don’t want to wake from. My drug that gets me through. Hope.
It’s what keeps me from going gently into this night or any other. Death is a reward that I have yet to earn. I have grasped it several times, but it was not mine to keep. One day, when I have answered my calling I will find it waiting, but not until I have taken my destiny and made it something beautiful. Do not go gentle into that good night. Spend your life fighting to do something great. Something brilliant.
Do not ebb with the tide. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Break away and become extraordinary. Be the change you want to see. It’s all we can do and I think we are responsible to do so.
I hope this finds you well